The Casual Observer: Turn around, bright eyes

When it comes to the imminent eclipse event, opinions run the gamut from “I’m so excited!” to “We’re all going to die!”
Because this is a serious issue worthy of serious attention, I decided to roll up my sleeves and delve deeper into the subject.
Since the closest I’ve come to being a science expert was the time I saw a commercial for OMSI, I decided to discuss songs: specifically, songs that deal with solar/lunar events.
How many are there? Who sings them? Do they use enough cow bell? And, most importantly, what will Tillamook County be listening to on August 21st?
Because let’s be honest: to commemorate this historic event, these are the hard-hitting, Pulitzer-prize-worthy questions journalists should be asking.
So I did what every dedicated writer does and Googled “eclipse songs.”
It turns out there are hundreds, too many to list. Instead of weeding through them all, I launched a survey seeking suggestions and went to the most unimpeachable source in the world: Facebook.
I disqualified Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” because it’s too easy.
Plus, I slow-danced to that song with Melodie Froehlich at band camp and shortly thereafter she dumped me for a trumpet player. (And yes, I really did meet a girl named Melodie at band camp.)
Feedback was astounding and I realized with great pride that many of my friends have a lot of time on their hands.
Responses ranged from “Wow, that’s a great idea!” to “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Thankfully, one helpful individual pointed out that KGW-TV had already done this sort of thing and I could get sued.
I consulted my crack legal team, which consists of two guys I met at the Lighthouse whose qualifications were they’d both been sued before. After I bought them each a beer, they assured me I was good to go.
Without further delay here’s a sampling of what a Tillamook County Eclipse Soundtrack might feature:
“Dancing In The Dark” (Bruce Springsteen); “Moondance” (Van Morrison); “Bark At The Moon” (Ozzy Osbourne); “Eclipse” (Pink Floyd); “Moonage Daydream” (David Bowie); “Waiting For The Sun” (The Doors); “Moon Shadow” (Cat Stevens); “Bad Moon Rising” (CCR); “Here Comes The Sun” (The Beatles); “Pink Moon” (Nick Drake); “Dancing In the Moonlight” (Toploader); “Black Hole Sun” (Soundgarden); “Blue Moon” (Billie Holiday); “Ain’t No Sunshine” (Bill Withers); “The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress” (Glenn Campbell); “Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying” (Gerry & The Pacemakers); “Shame On The Moon” (Bob Seger); “Steal My Sunshine” (Len); “Shadow On The Sun” (Audioslave).
A discerning reader also suggested some excellent opera selections: “Hymn to the Sun” from “The Golden Cockerel” by Rimsky-Korsakov; “Song to the Moon” from “Rusalka” by Dvořák; “E lucevan le stele” (And the Stars were Shining) from “Tosca” by Puccini
The most interesting submission was “The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia” because it’s not about an eclipse, but rather a series of unfortunate misunderstandings stemming from a murder.
Still, Georgia is in the Path Of Totality (great name for a band, by the way) so I put it to our judging panel who promptly wagged her tail in the affirmative.
Funniest submission goes to “Run To The Hills” by Iron Maiden, because the person who suggested it said – and I quote – “That’s what I’m doing that day.”
So there you have it, an excellent playlist to turn up to 11 while you sip a beer, stare at the sky and smoke a little, errrrr….salmon.
And if you’re reading this Melodie Froehlich, I want my metronome back.